Clever, Enjoyable & Super Funny Bible Quotes
As believers, it is our God-given right and responsibility to be positive and cheerful. After all, “The joy of the Lord is our strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). Why not throw some funny Bible verses into the mix, to brighten up your day even further!
“A cheerful heart is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22)
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I always say that the Bible has the answer to everything. And I mean everything! God is just amazing like that! Nestled among all the inspirational and faith building scriptures are ideal remedies for plain-old dullness and boredom!
There are funny Bible quotes scattered throughout the Old and New Testaments. And they’re sure to lift your spirits without getting too serious, as the Bible can mostly be.
In a research study done by Harvard University, laughter was found to stimulate a host of health benefits, including promoting general mental and physical well-being. Now pair this with healthy eating, exercise and an active spiritual life… and your body would be running like a well oiled machine!
How about we check out some funny Bible jokes for some good, clean fun, that we can enjoy at any time? From harsh and borderline cynical scriptures, to hilarious Proverbs… And silly moments by Biblical figures, to funny Bible verses taken out of context.
Let’s build our faith, while appreciating some light-hearted aspects associated with serving our God!
Funny Bible Quotes & Funny Bible Verses Taken Out of Context
1. Genesis 3:8
“When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees.”
Our God is omniscient (all-knowing) and omnipotent (all-powerful). As believers, we know that. How silly is it that Adam and Eve thought that they could hide from God by physically hiding in some bushes.
As serious as the situation was, I can’t help but chuckle when I visualize it actually playing out in my head. It’s like naughty kids hiding from a parent when they’re about to be confronted and disciplined.
2. Genesis 3:12
“The man replied, ‘It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.’”
Just two naughty kids where one is trying to save himself by throwing the other under the bus. Adam is playing it off like he barely even knows Eve. They just doomed mankind, that’s all. No biggie.
3. Genesis 19:4-5
“But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. And they called to Lot, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may know (sleep with) them.’”
We all know that Sodom was an extreme and evil place… but wow! We can laugh about it now, but that’s a crazy situation to be in. *awkward laugh*
4. Genesis 25:29
“Esau said to Jacob, ‘I’m starved! Give me some of that red stew!’ (This is how Esau got his other name, Edom, which means ‘red.’)”
The circumstances surrounding how young men sometimes get their nicknames can often be very funny. Esau was branded as “Red” because he once asked for “red stew.” Haha!
5. Genesis 25:33
“Esau swore an oath, thereby selling all his rights as the firstborn to his brother, Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and lentil stew.”
I’ve seen my kids try to trade and negotiate stuff with each other before. And it does get fairly outrageous. But it usually doesn’t go past snacks or video game credits. You know… stuff like tidying the other’s room in exchange for their last piece of candy.
I admit to enjoying a giggle or two over the years, while overhearing the transaction taking place. But Esau traded Jacob his entire inheritance, as first-born, for some bread and lentil stew. That’s crazy!
6. Genesis 27:16
“She covered his arms and the smooth part of his neck with the skin of the young goats.”
Jacob was dressed in pieces of goat skin so he could pretend to be Esau, since Esau was hairy. Isaac, their father, was almost blind and relied on touch. He felt the goat skin and completely mistook one son for the other. As cold as it may be… that’s comical.
7. Exodus 4:10
“But Moses pleaded with the Lord, ‘O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.’”
Moses really did not want to be the person to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. He even tried to play on the fact that he had a speech impediment. After trying to invent all kinds of excuses to get out of the job, he still had to do it.
Been there! Not exactly. But still laughable.
8. Exodus 16:2-3
“The whole community of Israel complained about Moses and Aaron.
‘If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt,’ they moaned. ‘There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death.’”
The Israelites were literally slaves in Egypt. Their ungratefulness, hardheadedness and stupidity is amusing.
9. Exodus 16:19-20
“Then Moses told them, ‘Do not keep any of it (food) until morning.’ But some of them didn’t listen and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Moses was very angry with them.”
How annoying it must have been for Moses, because of the people’s inability to follow basic instructions set by God. At least we can look back on it and have a laugh.
10. Exodus 32:22-24
“‘Don’t get so upset, my lord,’ Aaron replied. ‘You yourself know how evil these people are…
…So I told them, ‘Whoever has gold jewelry, take it off.’ When they brought it to me, I simply threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!’”
Aaron participated in the evil act of building an idol, despite knowing better. And then tried to down play the entire thing as casual as could be. Okay Aaron…the golden calf just came out of the fire right? Cool story. *Facepalm*
11. Numbers 11:11-13
“And Moses said to the Lord, ‘Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people? Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world?
Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors? Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep whining to me, saying, ‘Give us meat to eat!’”
It’s safe to say that Moses was not a fan of the Israelites constant complaints and whiny behavior. His reaction is priceless though! Lol!
12. Numbers 22:28
“Then the Lord gave the donkey the ability to speak. ‘What have I done to you that deserves your beating me three times? it asked Balaam. ‘You have made me look like a fool!’ Balaam shouted.”
A man arguing with an angry donkey! Funny Bible verse or a scene from Shrek? Hilarious!
13. Deuteronomy 25:11-12
“If two Israelite men get into a fight and the wife of one tries to rescue her husband by grabbing the testicles of the other man, you must cut off her hand. Show her no pity.”
Umm…wait…what?! I’m sure that isn’t standard rescue practice for ladies and their husbands nowadays. Hahaha!
14. Judges 3:23
“Then Ehud closed and locked the doors of the room and escaped down the latrine.”
Ehud was a chosen man of God who, whilst executing a mission, had to escape down a functioning toilet chute. Out of a sticky situation and into a stinky one!
15. Judges 9:52-53
“Abimelech followed them to attack the tower. But as he prepared to set fire to the entrance, a woman on the roof dropped a millstone that landed on Abimelech’s head and crushed his skull.”
Abimelaech was a wicked and conniving man. He definitely got what was coming to him, in classic comedy fashion.
16. 1 Kings 18:27
“About noontime Elijah began mocking them. ‘You’ll have to shout louder,’ he scoffed, ‘for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming, or is relieving himself. Or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!’”
This is one of my favorite laughable moments in the Bible. Elijah teases the followers of a false god that agreed to a challenge with the True and Living God. Talk about comedy genius!
17. 2 Kings 2:23
“Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. ‘Go away, baldy!’ they chanted. ‘Go away, baldy!’”
Even one of the greatest men of God couldn’t escape a bald joke.
18. Joshua 13:1
“When Joshua had grown old, the Lord said to him, “You are now very old, and there are still very large areas of land to be taken over.”
God starts off a series of instructions to Joshua by calling him old. That’s funny! I would have loved to have seen his expression. I’m sure Joshua had a good sense of humor and just rolled with it.
19. Job 13:4-5
“As for you, you smear me with lies. As physicians, you are worthless quacks. If only you could be silent! That’s the wisest thing you could do.”
What a clever and funny way to hit back at people bad mouthing you! Well played Job!
20. Job 15:7-9
“Were you the first person ever born? Were you born before the hills were made? Were you listening at God’s secret council? Do you have a monopoly on wisdom? What do you know that we don’t? What do you understand that we do not?”
What a quick-witted and absolutely hysterical way of questioning someone’s intelligence and arrogance!
21. Job 16:2-3
“I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! Won’t you ever stop blowing hot air? What makes you keep on talking?”
We all know that Job had a rough experience. However, the fact that he made it through and was happy in the end makes his responses to his critics laughable now. His responses were priceless!
22. Job 19:17
“My breath is repulsive to my wife.”
We all appreciate a good husband vs wife joke. Here’s one straight from the Bible.
Funny Bible Quotes: Hilarious Proverbs
23. Proverbs 1:22
“How long will you fools hate knowledge?”
Technical insult meets funny Bible verse!
24. Proverbs 6:6-9
“Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise!
…But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up?”
Don’t be a lazybones! Hehe!
25. Proverbs 10:19
“Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”
Funny Bible verse with a lot of truth to it. Know when to shut up!
26. Proverbs 11:22
“A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.”
Brutally honest and equally amusing! Take note ladies!
27. Proverbs 12:9
“Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant than pretend to be somebody and have no food.”
Be humble, with food, not arrogant and hungry! The word of God has jokes!
28. Proverbs 13:16
“Wise people think before they act. Fools don’t, and even brag about their foolishness.”
Funny, but very true!
29. Proverbs 14:3
“A fool’s proud talk becomes a rod that beats him, but the words of the wise keep them safe.”
Arrogance and stupidity is a disastrous combination!
30. Proverbs 16:31
“Gray hair is a crown of glory, it is gained by living a godly life.”
Thanks to this scripture, I’ve now decided to embrace all of my gray hair. Because I have more grays than my wife, does that automatically make me the more godly one? LOL!
31. Proverbs 17:12
“It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than to confront a fool caught in foolishness.”
There is no limit to a stupid person’s stupidity. Funny, but on point!
32. Proverbs 17:28
“Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent. With their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.”
Silence can make the biggest idiot seem smart. That’s hilarious!
33. Proverbs 19:3
“People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord.”
Stop making poor decisions… and then blaming the outcomes on God. The joke’s on you!
34. Proverbs 19:13
“A quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.”
We all love a quarrelsome wife joke! Well, everyone except the actual wives. *laughs while hiding*
35. Proverbs 21:9
“It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.”
And another wife joke! *laughs while running*
36. Proverbs 19:19
“It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.”
These funny Bible jokes are trying to get me in trouble. Just laugh and take note.
37. Proverbs 22:13
“The lazy person claims, ‘There’s a lion out there! If I go outside, I might be killed!’”
Those lazybones will make up anything to avoid getting to work.
38. Proverbs 23:6-7
“Don’t eat with people who are stingy, don’t desire their delicacies. They are always thinking about how much it costs.”
Avoid dining with cheapskates! That’s too funny!
39. Proverbs 23:34-35
“You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast.
And you will say, ‘They hit me, but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t even know it when they beat me up. When will I wake up so I can look for another drink?’”
The Bible puts a somewhat funny spin on alcoholism in this scripture.
40. Proverbs 24:30
“I walked by the field of a lazy person, the vineyard of one with no common sense.”
How brutally funny! The Bible equates laziness with lacking common sense! Ha!
41. Proverbs 25:19
“Putting confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble is like chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot.”
As laughable as it may appear, that’s some solid advice.
42. Proverbs 26:1
“Honor is no more associated with fools than snow with summer or rain with harvest.”
Note to self: Fools are not honorable. What a way to put it though! Funny stuff!
43. Proverbs 26:3
“Guide a horse with a whip, a donkey with a bridle, and a fool with a rod to his back!”
Okay… Please let’s just enjoy a good laugh without taking this one too literally!
44. Proverbs 26:3
“Honoring a fool is as foolish as tying a stone to a slingshot.”
We clearly see that God does not think too kindly of foolish people. This is too funny!
45. Proverbs 26:11
“As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.”
Harsh but on point. And definitely worth a chuckle.
46. Proverbs 26:17
“Interfering in someone else’s argument is as foolish as yanking a dog’s ears.”
Funny, but good advice nonetheless.
47. Proverbs 27:15-16
“A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.”
Oh my! Just laugh and move on ladies and gents!
48. Proverbs 29:20
“There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.”
Stop getting your foot in your mouth guys! Haha!
49. Proverbs 30:15
“The leech has two daughters. ‘Give! Give!’ they cry.”
Watch out for those! They’d suck you dry! *snickers*
50. Proverbs 30:18-19
“There are three things that amaze me, no, four things that I don’t understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman.”
That last one! It can be confusing at times. Hahaha!
51. Proverbs 30:24-28
“There are four things on earth that are small but unusually wise:
Ants: they aren’t strong, but they store up food all summer. Hyraxes (rock badgers): they aren’t powerful, but they make their homes among the rocks. Locusts: they have no king, but they march in formation.
Lizards: they are easy to catch, but they are found even in kings’ palaces.”
Food for thought. But worth a giggle.
52. Proverbs 31:22
“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? …She makes her own bedspreads.”
I’d just like to take this moment to say that a wife can still be considered as honorable and competent, even if she buys her sheets at Target or Walmart. I got your back ladies! LOL!
Additional Bible Jokes & Funny Quotes
53. Ecclesiastes 7:5
“Better to be criticized by a wise person than to be praised by a fool.”
Funny but insightful!
54. Ecclesiastes 7:21-22
“Don’t eavesdrop on others! You may hear someone curse you. For you know how often you yourself have cursed others.”
*Awkward laugh while we self evaluate*
55. Ecclesiastes 10:19
“A party gives laughter, wine gives happiness, and money gives everything!”
This one is slightly confusing but we’d give it a chuckle.
56. Song of Songs 4:1-2
“You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.
Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin.”
Dear men everywhere… Please do not compare your wife to a goat or a sheep! She will not appreciate it, regardless of how good your intentions are!
King Solomon may have said this to his wife thousands of years ago. And he may have had success with those lyrics back then. But I can almost guarantee that you would not! Hahaha!
57. Song of Songs 7:2
“Your navel is perfectly formed like a goblet filled with mixed wine. Between your thighs lies a mound of wheat bordered with lilies.”
Ummm… I’m really not sure what to make of some of these “compliments.” LOL!
More Funny Bible Passages
58. 1 Samuel 6:4 (KJV)
“Then said they, What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him? They answered, Five golden emerods (hemorrhoids), and five golden mice”
Of all the gifts ever made of gold, hemorrhoids and mice have got to be the funniest.
59. 2 Samuel 10:4
“So Hanun seized David’s ambassadors and shaved off half of each man’s beard, cut off their robes at the buttocks, and sent them back to David in shame.”
That’s embarrassing to say the least. It would have definitely been a comical situation to have witnessed.
60. Isaiah 44:16
“He burns part of the tree to roast his meat and to keep himself warm. He says, ‘Ah, that fire feels good.’”
Get your mind out of the gutter! But funny Bible verses out of context doesn’t really get better than this one.
61. Ezekiel 4:12
“Prepare and eat this food as you would barley cakes. While all the people are watching, bake it over a fire using dried human dung as fuel and then eat the bread.”
*Ezekiel pleads with God*
“All right,” the Lord said. “You may bake your bread with cow dung instead of human dung.”
This was part of Israel’s punishment. Thankfully prophet Ezekiel begged God and got Him to go down a less humiliating punishment route.
62. Matthew 5:29
“If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away.”
Extreme, but probably a bit of dry humor in this one. Thankfully we can repent and work on building our faith. No need to amputate anything.
63. Matthew 6:34
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
I tell my wife this every time she sees a charge for more fishing gear on our credit card bill. And she serves it right back at me whenever an Amazon package arrives.
Even the most serious of Bible verses can bring laughter when taken out of context!
64. Matthew 7:3
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”
Jesus was a savage at times. As believers, we can laugh at His cleverness.
65. Matthew 14:22
“When the disciples saw Him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, ‘It’s a ghost!’”
Jesus’ disciples, despite having the best teacher in the world, had some pretty brainless and super funny moments. It would have been so funny to see their reactions before and after realizing that it was Jesus.
66. Matthew 19:12
“For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.“
I would have never thought that male castration could be discussed so casually. *awkward laugh*
67. Matthew 19:24
“Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God.”
Jesus used some fairly intense analogies at times. He definitely utilized a touch of humor when emphasizing the gravity of certain situations.
68. Mark: 4:38-39
“Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke Him up, shouting, ‘Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?’
When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Silence! Be still!’ Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm.”
For the most part, Jesus was super chill and well composed. On the other hand, His disciples were typical men that panicked easily. This would have been so funny to witness, especially with how casually Jesus dealt with the situation. He was so unfazed by the disciples’ overreaction.
69. Mark 6:4
“Then Jesus told them, ‘A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.’”
This is so funny, yet disappointing! Even Jesus, the greatest man to ever walk the face of the earth was unappreciated in His hometown. Imagine all the miracles they missed out on because of their unbelief! *facepalm*
70. Mark 9:4-5
“Then Elijah and Moses appeared and began talking with Jesus. Peter exclaimed, ‘Rabbi, it’s wonderful for us to be here! Let’s make three shelters as memorials: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.’
He said this because he didn’t really know what else to say, for they were all terrified.”
Think about that situation. Imagine being so scared and lost for words that you start making outrageous suggestions! Hilarious!
71. Mark 9:33-34
“After they arrived at Capernaum and settled in a house, Jesus asked His disciples, ‘What were you discussing out on the road?’ But they didn’t answer, because they had been arguing about which of them was the greatest.”
Jesus caught His disciples arguing about which of them was possibly His favorite. What a group of childish goofballs! They were just men after all. Hahaha!
72. Mark 14:51-52
“One young man following behind was clothed only in a long linen shirt. When the mob tried to grab him, he slipped out of his shirt and ran away naked.”
He escaped being caught by an angry crowd by sliding out of his clothes and running away. That’s some cartoon grade comedy right there!
73. Luke 19:1-4
“There was a man there named Zacchaeus…
…He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way.”
No offence to the vertically challenged… but that’s funny to visualize!
74. Acts 20:9-10
“Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead.
Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. ‘Don’t be alarmed,’ he said. ‘He’s alive!’”
It’s like a scene from a goofy comedy movie!
75. 1 Corinthians 7:28 (NIV)
“But those who marry will face many troubles in this life”
This is definitely one of the funniest Bible verses when taken out of context! Please read the verses before and after, if you are looking for good advice! On its own, it’s hilarious though!
Bonus Funny Bible Verses Taken Out of Context
Proverbs 30:21
“There are three things that make the earth tremble, no, four it cannot endure: a slave who becomes a king, an overbearing fool who prospers, a bitter woman who finally gets a husband, a servant girl who supplants (replaces) her mistress.”
O.M.G! Move aside science, apparently earthquakes are sometimes caused by quarrelsome women getting married. Savage but funny stuff!
Mark 14:37-41
“Then He returned and found the disciples asleep. He said to Peter, ‘Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?’
…Then Jesus left them again and prayed the same prayer as before. When He returned to them again, He found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open. And they didn’t know what to say.
When he returned to them the third time, he said, ‘Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest.’”
This scripture shows how alone Jesus was, in His struggles, relying on God alone. Despite having friends around. A true reflection of how we may feel at times. Now all emotions and character development aside, let’s look at the funny side of things:
Jesus was probably like “Bro, just look out and stay awake for like 1 hour…tops.” Peter couldn’t even do that! How annoying it would have been that Jesus couldn’t even rely on His friend for something as simple as that.
Thankfully, everything worked out in the end. Hey… We do have salvation right?! So it all definitely played out successfully.
Just like we sometimes gather and laugh at silly moments that we experience with our friends, I’m sure it would have been a similar type scenario.
Frequently Asked Questions for Funny Bible Quotes
FAQ: What is the goofiest Bible verse?
There are a few Bible verses that tick the goofy box. One standout is when Balaam was caught in an argument with his donkey, who started talking:
Numbers 22:28 “Then the Lord gave the donkey the ability to speak. ‘What have I done to you that deserves your beating me three times? it asked Balaam. ‘You have made me look like a fool!’ Balaam shouted.”
Another one that is definitely goofy is Solomon complimenting his wife using weird comparisons:
Song of Songs 4:1-2 “You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.
Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin.”
FAQ: What is a cool Bible verse?
One of the coolest Bible verses is Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.”
This is reassuring and tells us that regardless of what we are going through, even if it appears to be a tough or stressful situation, we will ultimately be victorious. Through positivity and negativity, God is in control!
FAQ: Have fun Bible quotes?
The Bible promotes the idea of having fun on several occasions. Ecclesiastes 8:15 states, “So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.”
Also, Psalm 118:24 goes as follows, “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Related Posts to Funny Bible Jokes
Bible Scriptures that Discuss Finances
Powerful Verses About Trusting God
Final Thoughts on Funny Bible Passages
I hope you enjoyed this collection of what I think are the funniest Bible verses. Along with my commentary to induce a bit of extra laughter on your side.
Even though some of them are naturally funny, there are others that require a bit of imagination. And there are others that are absolutely hilarious when purposefully taken out of context.
Hey… God gave us this life to enjoy. While we worship and praise Him of course! May He bless you with an extra dose of joy in your life!
Do you know of any other funny Bible verses? It’d be great to hear from you, so be sure to leave them in the comments section!
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75 Funny Bible Verses & Funny Bible Scriptures